Girls, Girls, Girls: The ups and downs of my beloved bosoms *TMI alert*

I’m a boob woman. I love my girls. Always have. As a preteen, I asked God for an ample bosom and my prayer was answered. Yes, seriously.  As a new mum,  I have a new prayer. I wish for my girls to be full, round, perky and protected. Are you there God? It’s me Debbie.

Competition Day

Competition Day

My breasts have seen a lot of ups and downs, in more ways than one. When I was training for competition, I kept an eye on certain numbers – my protein intake, my weight and my body composition. I never took note of my chest measurement. So although I’m sure it happened gradually, the shrinkage totally took me by surprise. Suddenly I wasn’t filling out my 34DD bras in the same way. Dang, where my girls at?!

Two and a half months later, my girls were back and they had news. Stretching my shirts, tender to touch – yep, I was prego. It was all good with one exception. By month three I had some serious bounce to the ounce. My Sunday long runs were not cool! I was bustin’ out. ha ha! It was time for a new sport bra. That meant time to drop some cash at Secrets From Your Sister.

7 months pregnant

Are you still with me ladies? I realize I may not be getting much sympathy from my A-cup sisters but keep reading. Trust me. There’s nothing envious about running 10K with two boulders bouncing on your chest. And there’s definitely nothing envious about the $100 surgical bandage Anita Body Wear calls a bra. Thank goodness the function is top-notch. It held up through my fifth month when I finally hung up my runners. ‘Held up’, get it? I’m on a roll!

Now that I’m working out again, I’m squeezing  into that same eyesore of an undergarment. I can’t believe I’m spilling out of an F cup. An F cup for goodness sake! I’d hate to know what size my porn boobs were during the early postnatal days of engorgement.

I hear that breast size can fluctuate a fair bit during and after pregnancy. I refuse to spend another bill on an ugly interim sport bra. My next bra purchase will be much nicer – as nice as a sport bra can be any way. In the meantime, I’m navigating the situation with a few simple solutions:

  • Pump milk before pumping iron
  • Walk, don’t run
  • “I must, I must, I must decrease my bust” chest workouts
  • Patiently await weaning

Chest presses, pec flys and push ups are all part of my routine. I’d hate to see the girls go, but I’d also hate to find out how low they can go. I look forward to the midpoint between breastfeeding and my next competition. I think that’s when my girls will be at their best – filled out and standing tall. With any luck that point will come during tank top season!

A lot of fitness models have surgically enlarged breasts. What do you think – necessary or not necessary?

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