It’s that time of year again. That time when colleagues  guised as “secret santas” exchange holiday gifts.

My mystery Santa delivered a fashionably packaged Lululemon gift card. Sweet.

I got online for some pre-shopping shopping. Tops, bottoms, underwear, aha!  sport bras. Santa knew exactly what was on my list!

I automatically scrolled alllll the way down to view the small selection of full support compression bandages always found at the bottom of the page. Save the worst for last. Not quite satisfied with the full support selection, I began looking at other styles.

I was sighfully browsing the vast middle class of bras when it hit me. My girls are not the same size nor shape they once were. The ample bosom I grew and loved is no more. Now instead of mourning the loss, I found a way to celebrate the gain. It’s a whole new bra shopping ball game!  There’s a world of attractive  medium support racerbacks out there for me to discover!

Another lesson in getting comfortable wide strap, flat seamed, Power Luxtreme comfortable with my post nursing mommy body.

Thank you Secret Santa

So often, I hear mothers talk about “getting back”.  They speak matter-of-factly about getting back to work or back to athletics, as if there were no reason to think otherwise. They agonize about getting back to their old bodies and back into pre-pregnancy jeans, as if it were the consummate yummy mummy achievement.  I am guilty of both. Just read any of my 2009-2010 entries!

Yes, there are mothers who quickly get back into demanding careers, triathlon training and hip-hugging skinny jeans – seemingly without missing a step. Perhaps to the credit of their type-A personalities, full-time nannies and striking genetics. Then there’s the rest of us.

We struggle to find the time, energy and resources to look, feel and do the things we did before the birth of our children. With time, I have learned to focus less on getting back to the way things were.  The real challenge is in adapting to the way things are.

When I first starting running in 2008, it was with the Running Room. The long runs quickly became a part of my routine. I was there religiously each Sunday to meet the group for a 6-18K slow run. I could not have run the half-marathon without the preparation these runs provided.

After my daughter was born, I couldn’t fathom being up, out and ready to run at 8:30am.  With the logistics and sleep deprivation involved, it just didn’t work. Giving up my runs was dispiriting. I saw all my running progress melting away and lingering pregnancy pounds that wouldn’t!

Thankfully things have changed. It took almost 16 months to happen. I have finally adapted to my new reality and running is becoming routine again.

I started running regularly just three months ago. Instead of running with The Running Room, I have one scheduled session each week with my super awesome run coach, Charles Bedley.  Tw0-time marathon champ. Look him up!  That’s a far cry from the 3x/week schedule I used to maintain (in addition to my three strength training days no less). From a training perspective, this one session of intervals, hills and run-specific strength work is more effective than most of the group runs I had done before. Bonus.

I have also managed to get out on my own for a few Sunday morning runs. They are short and close to home to help coincide with hubby and baby’s schedules. Now here’s the Hallmark moment that inspired this post.

Instead of staying home today, hubby and baby ventured out along with me. We strolled down to my starting point together. I headed off on my 4K route and they hung out at the park conveniently located at the end of my loop. I had a great run and as I rounded the corner in those final metres, I could see them playing joyfully together in the distance. If that isn’t motivation to sprint to the finish, I don’t know what is!

My tot was content to stay on the baby swings as I completed my workout. Box jumps and push up supersets, in case you are wondering. After a quick stretch, we headed home. I couldn’t help but smile out loud as we walked. It was the perfect way to fit a run into my new family life. It was a wonderful Sunday morning!

This may or may not become a regular thing. I have no expectations. For now, I am genuinely happy to have stopped grieving my old routine. I can’t go back. I can’t do things that way I used to. I don’t know why I, or we, assumed we could. Maybe you’ll bounce back into your old job, your old wardrobe, your  old routine. Maybe you won’t.

Mamas, I hereby grant you permission to toss your hip huggers, your comittment to run a marathon this year, and all those other notions about “getting back”. If you allow things to be different, perhaps you’ll find harmony between an old passion and your new love.

What do you miss most from your pre-pregnancy life? How has it found its way into your new life with baby?

To be clear,  I actually ran the 5K race at the Toronto Marathon. Unlike weaning, which has been on my agenda since day one, racing really wasn’t on my radar. But after just a few weeks of training with my run coach, I caught the race bug. We made a friendly bet, I entered the race and on May 15th, there I was!

This 5K was kind of a big deal to me, being my first post-baby event.  I trained by day and tweeted by night, sharing details of my preparation. You do follow @SupaFitMama, right? Then just days before the race, with my focus firmly fixed on the run, another big event occurred. I got my 19-month-old to bed and through the night without nursing!

I’d been waiting for this day for months! I should have been over the moon. Instead, after two days without breastfeeding, I was painfully engorged, near tears and fearing my run because of it. Lesson learned. Do not attempt weaning days before race. That rule is right up there with not eating eggs before a race – another lesson I learned the hard way.

If you know me, you know nothing would prevent me from running. Two pumps, two Advils, two bras and I was good to go! I clocked in at 32.07.2 – my second best time ever. I’m not a very fast runner but I’m working on it. And even more exciting,  the babe hasn’t been on the boob since.

As I said, I couldn’t have predicted any of this. My daughter gave up breastfeeding as ubruptly as I started running again. And as for what’s next, I have no idea.  I can say I feel that I’ve gotten a huge part of myself back. It felt absolutely wonderful to get out there, challenge myself and be part of the running community.  It’s also liberating knowing the girls won’t be working the Dairy Queen this summer! I sense that as one major chapter has ended another is slowly unfolding. I’m ready.

Sunday: I attended my godson’s christening at Revival Time Tabernacle (read: Black Church). It was the first time in months that I found myself at a Caribbean affair - you know with West Indians it’s always an affair. I was surrounded by love, music, scripture …and a lot of overweight women.

I would easily estimate that 80% of the congregation were overweight.  On one hand, this was upsetting; so many black girls and women neglecting their fitness and health. But given more thought, it was also eye-opening. I don’t doubt that most of those women considered me,  at 149lbs and 16% body fat,  too skinny. The lean muscle mass and body fat percentage that I strive for are not norms in my Caribbean community. Being surrounded daily by fitness experts and enthusiasts has perhaps skewed my perception. Perhaps.

Later Sunday: I barely made it through the Calypso-inspired worship before succumbing to the chills and nausea of stomach flu. Within 24 hours my body violently released all food, water and will to survive. During the 36 hours that followed, I was deathly afraid to consume anything but toast and ginger ale.

Monday: By the end of the 2-day episode, I was weak, tired…and very lean! I essentially experienced the results of “a cleanse”. Though I wouldn’t be bottling this one up to sell it. Without all the usual carbs and sugars bloating my body, I was looking very lean and fit – even in the troublesome mid-section. I was genuinely pleased with my 18-month post pregnancy body! Hallelujah!

So the big revelation or reawakening – whatever you want to call it – is this. I have achieved my post-pregnancy goal. I have a healthy, strong,  muscular, thick black body. Let me say that again people. I have a healthy, strong,  muscular, thick black body. I have yet to get back down to 140lbs, but my body looks and feels great exactly where it is. With nutritional changes, I can eliminate the chronic bloating and enjoy the lean look I acheived this weekend without the obvious pains. So you can hereby forget all those weight and measurement goals I set way back when. My next goals are all fitness and event-focussed. My first challenge: run 5K in 31 minutes or less. Oh, and I’m sure to be dabbling in some  non-viral detox or cleansing experiments. Stay tuned. Recommendations welcome.

Out of curiosity, I strapped on a pedometer which recorded an extra 10,000 steps per day! Okay that’s a lie. I don’t own a pedometer. But if I did, I’m sure it would indicate a crazy amount of mileage accumulating between by bedroom and living room each day.

I’ve still got serious competition goals and many pounds to shed so I gotta thank baby for the extra calorie burn. I am literally chasing the dream

After weeks of scoping out the results board, I finally decided to partake in the challenges myself. Let’s say I joined in to demonstrate my “team attitude”. That’s right, it has nothing to do with my need to dominate and display my athleticism for all to see!

This week’s challenge is a series of dry-land hockey drills – skating lunges, stick handling and lateral jumps.

So yeah, I kicked butt leading the women’s side of board. But almost more importantly than being the best, I learned a couple things. Or more accurately, I was reminded of a couple things. #1 – I am not only strong but have above-average athletic skills. #2 – It’s really important to mix up your routine with new moves now and then. I did a whole workout routine pretty much unphased then got my glutes smoked with that 45 second skate lunge challenge.

So my message to you is this. You may be older, slower, heavier, and/or rounder than you once were, but don’t doubt your innate abilities. If you loved cross-country running in junior high, you may just have a marathon in you. Or if you were a decent volleyball player in high school, why not trade a gym workout for a regular weekly rec game?

Challenge your body to new (or old) moves, and you’ll see and feel the benefits. New stimuli can help to overcome plateaus and also keep things interesting. No need for another humdrum 30 minutes on the elliptical. Get out there and test yourself, if you’re up for the challenge!

His new restaurant job has its perks. Free meals are nothing to scoff at. But scoff I am, as the baked goods and fried foods are really challenging my will.

I’ve given him a list of “approved menu items” to bring home. I may also have to give him a stern talking to and Nutrition 101 lecture. Sheesh!